willups

darwinblacklist @ 2009-12-14T17:24:00

2009-12-14T23:24:23Z

richmond or athens?

darwinblacklist @ 2009-12-11T16:39:00

2009-12-11T22:39:50Z

+ new monotonix album is awesomely heavy and weird. straight up a few bomb notes thrown in here and there. seriously, very good.
+ i have a bunny named venus living with me for a few weeks (maybe longer). she's totally amazing. chills on my chest while i'm napping. watched all of mrs. doubtfire with a few of us the other night. nice to have a critter around again.
+ about 85% sure on moving.
+ working on eating better.
+ dressed prince up in a santa jacket and mardi gras hat. i couldn't help but laugh the whole time. hilarious. dude didn't even care...

- cold as fuck. essentially standing around in 10 degree weather is wearing me out.
- cough.
- stressed.
- disappointed with a lot of people, but mostly with myself.
- still feeling dizzy off and on.
- received bill from the hospital and cardiologist...

I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-12-08T01:25:00

2009-12-08T07:25:34Z

tim barry - tacoma
little gold - lock me up

i wonder how many friendships i've destroyed in the last four months.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-12-04T03:12:00

2009-12-04T09:12:22Z

i have begun to truly loathe "dating."
waste.of.time.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-12-02T02:56:00

2009-12-02T08:56:23Z

dr. dog - easy beat
vic chesnutt - at the cut
pbr - 6x16 oz.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-28T15:18:00

2009-11-28T21:18:19Z

not nearly as interesting as ramsey's, but then again, my entries tend to be full of debaucherous mumblings and star wars references.
this is depressing in a weird way. interesting to look back on people that once were very important in my life that i no longer talk to, or people that have stuck around (ramsey, 2002 dawg!), all of my pathetic, overt attempts at flirting via the internet. i feel like a total dork.

2008
http://darwinblacklist.livejournal.com/2008/11/24/

2007
http://darwinblacklist.livejournal.com/10735.html#cutid1

2006
http://cuddle-core.livejournal.com/2006/11/26/

2005
http://cuddle-core.livejournal.com/2005/11/30/

2004
http://cuddle-core.livejournal.com/68964.html#cutid1

2003 (close as i can get)
http://ovenmitt-37.livejournal.com/2003/11/11/

2002
http://ovenmitt-37.livejournal.com/2002/09/07/

last one is slightly disturbing.
old livejournal entries are a love supremely embarrassing.

one common trend: calling jruss a bama.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-27T14:41:00

2009-11-27T20:42:00Z

i'm not alone.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-22T23:48:00

2009-11-23T05:48:11Z

I didn't really mention it after it happened, as I'd hoped it was a fluke incident that came about as the result of "partying too hard," also known as abusing my body to no end, and not eating well enough throughout the course of the my last few days on vacation. While on the Greyhound back from Philly, at about seven thirty in the morning my arms went numb and my hands started sweating. My heart felt like somebody had dipped it in a bucket of ice water, and I felt very, very lightheaded, to the point of getting tunnel vision and having to struggle to keep from passing out altogether. Ended up puking into the murky blue sanitary fluid in the back of the bus, and asking some fellow passengers for some food, as the Wheeling, WV stop didn't have any. Somebody was nice enough to give me a few cookies and some Flamin' Hot Cheethos (healthy, right?). Anyways, I slowly started to feel a little better, but my arms remained numb, and hands kept sweating for most of the rest of the day, along with my heart still feeling really unpleasant. Two summers ago I briefly went to a hospital because I kept getting these heart flutters. Turned out there were called PVCs, which are triggered by nicotine, coffee, alcohol, and other more illicit stimuli. Got pretty used to having those from time to time, but they eventually became less and less frequent.

This is terribly drawn out. Friday, I went out to work, and pretty quickly after leaving my heart started to feel funny again, that same icy cold sensation, and while I was walking Prince, I nearly fainted again. Happened again yesterday. Today I just felt lightheaded and got the PVCs while at work, but it wasn't too bad. Fact is it seems like it's not just going to go away. I haven't had any alcohol, nicotine or caffeine for four days or so, leading me to believe that it's something beyond short term physical abuse. Perhaps years of it has done some serious harm, but I sort of find that hard to believe when there are people who end up doing more terrible things to their bodies for far longer periods of time. Guess you never know, though...

Tonight, I drank a non-alcoholic beer at work and drank decaf coffee. Self-defeat.

I basically stayed home all weekend watching Outer Limits VHS, Star Trek, and me tv TOO, which basically consists of crappy 60s cop dramas. Been reading too. And eating. Jill's in town. Hung out for a good while last night playing Personal Preference. I kind of enjoyed sipping at a Sprite while everybody else was blocking the world out. Definitely a new perspective. Did get some sweet Vietnamese food with Sarah yesterday afternoon. Watched that damn Tom Cruise in Valkyrie as well.

There's not really any point to this entry, other than listing it as a point of reference to myself, I suppose. Hopefully going to a clinic tomorrow morning before work to get this checked out. Trying to set up insurance pronto so I can get treatment if I need to, but hopefully it's just something stupid.

Hanging with Lisa on tuesday. Always good to see old friends.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

Sarah Palin on Vegans

2009-11-21T19:15:29Z

"If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore," she wrote. "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”

thank you, internet.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-18T18:37:00

2009-11-19T00:37:17Z

scored this tonight. fuck yea.
check out the awesome gatefold image:

thanks for turning me into a moron, john. it's all downhill from here.

"if you see me walkin down the line
with my favorite honky tonk in mind
well, i'll be here around suppertime
with my can of dinner and a bunch of fine"

additionally, check out this sweet album cover.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-18T11:20:00

2009-11-18T17:20:35Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtJLZ2zL2Os

check out this song. embedding disabled apparently. heard a feature about it on the radio yesterday. this version gets me, but there are others, aretha, sinatra, probably a dozen more.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-16T19:19:00

2009-11-17T01:19:25Z

Lots of Townes Van Zandt this week, I can tell already. Been jamming the Cat Power album Dear Sir a ton as well. Never really cared for anything of hers I'd heard before, but this album... phew... heavy, borderline noisy, but with great vocals. Definitely highly recommended for anybody in that fall mood.

Back in Chicago. Maybe I said that before. Maybe not. Irrelevant. Somebody told me I seemed sad yesterday, but not just momentarily specific, just in general, which of course just bummed me out even more. I wonder how long I've been letting it go, blotting it out, tricking myself, trying to believe that I'm okay with things. The fact of the matter is that I'm not at all.

But I'm working on that...

Start volunteering at the Red Door Animal Shelter on Wed. They take care of cats, but mostly bunnies. So stoked. Might foster one for awhile. I've been talking for a few months about getting one again, but I'm trying to be responsible. Fostering would be great, but I know I'd get super attached and probably not want to give it to the new home in the end.

Met new dog on the route tonight. Dachshund named Panzer. Pretty cute little fellow. Won two bucks on a scratcher. Promptly spent it on a tall boy.

Show for Litany For the Whale on friday went pretty well. Sick/Tired fucking ruled. Like Rats were rad. Definitely most stoked about Sick/Tired though. Scored the 7". Fucking ripper.

Trying to play a lot more guitar. My fingers have gotten sloppy over the last few months. New room is awesome... actually have space to work/lounge. All of the furniture minus my couch and part of the bed frame was built by me, which I think is kind of rad. Nice to be surrounded by one's work sometimes.

Time to clean the kitchen and get down to making some chili.

Good discussion on the role of record labels that I read today.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/monitormix/2009/11/roundtable_discussion_the_role_1.html#more

darwinblacklist @ 2009-11-09T22:58:00

2009-11-10T05:05:43Z

R.I.P. Bratmobile...
1990-2009
168,729 Miles

Thousands of miles clocked driving around D.C.
Hundreds of rotations around the beltway
Tens of thousands of collective cigarettes smoked
Countless trips to Richmond, Baltimore and Philadelphia
At least two trips to NYC
Two fateful journeys to Chicago
One trip to Cleveland
Over 100 passengers
Numerous camp outs
One twelve pack of beer consumed by a certain Paul Hanson, numerous others in less impressive quantities
Hours upon hours upon hours of mix tapes listened to
Dozens of awkward questions asked by Jruss
Too many stickers
Pulled over six times and never a single ticket (keeping my fingers crossed)
...and a whole slew of other good memories.

You will be missed, dawg.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-10-15T16:36:00

2009-10-15T21:43:02Z

our apartment was cold enough to see steam on our breaths the other night. it's about 55 right now, but that's likely because it's day time. i'm wearing long underwear, jeans, smart wool socks, shoes, undershirt, flannel, sweatshirt, winter hat with ear flaps, windbreaker. still cold. bought a space heater, which i feel really crappy about because they consume a fuckload of energy, but i guess i'd prefer not to die this winter. landlord says the heat will get turned on in a week, but after having spent the night in this apartment a few times last year as a guest, i know that it's not gonna make much of a difference. we had to wear layers and snooze wrapped arms in arms in a sleep sack to keep from shivering all night. winter should be interesting this year, as i'm living in the back sun room, which is certainly the least insulated room of the house. gonna put up the plastic sheets tomorrow after work, foam some cracks, cover the outlets, on exterior walls (see: all of them), and possibly hang some carpets up on the west wall of my room.

this week's been pretty good i guess. i feel like i'm about to have a breakdown more often than not for about the first half of the day, but since i've been eating a little better that's improved some. paul and mark are here this weekend. kip comes monday. driving east next friday. unbelievably excited about some of it. going to be very prudent about who i choose to spend my time with and what doing. i think my cousin davey, who i haven't really met yet, and i may go on a bike trip to harper's ferry. talk about an awkward first date, eh? just kidding. i'm hoping we'll get along.

dinosaur jr. tonight... dunno if i should go?

darwinblacklist @ 2009-10-11T14:38:00

2009-10-11T19:38:52Z

My most recent ebay fiasco:

So I purchased an amp on ebay a few weeks ago. The guy's feedback was positive, but he hadn't received any since 2006, so I was a bit hesitant, but figured the price was too good to turn down and took a gamble. The amp originally sold for $526, but as the buyer lived in Russia, the seller, a certain Barry Patterson from Riverside, CA, didn't want to deal with international shipping. I was at my e-mail account when I received the "second chance offer" e-mail from ebay, with a buy it now price of $200 and jumped at it. I probably should've been immediately weirded out when I received a 1-800 number as his phone number, but didn't really think twice about it. Eventually I looked it up and it was the digits for poison control. This kind of freaked me out a bit. I wasn't sure if he was trying to suggest that he was mailing me anthrax, or if he was really drunk or overdosing while typing the e-mail and accidentally cut and pasted to the wrong window. This week I sort of figured I wasn't going to get my amp, getting scammed, whatever, and was going to start the process to get a refund from paypal, when, upon reexamining the details of the transaction, i discovered that somehow i'd selected my home address in VA as my shipping address. So, I called my dad up and asked if there had been any mail for me. "Well, a big box showed up a few days ago. I think an album showed up this week as well." So I asked him to pop open the box and make sure everything was intact, and he told me that it "looks nicer than any of [my] other amplifiers." Powered on apparently. Hopefully a $15 cleaning will getting running top notch. Stoked as hell. Need to buy a new cab now, but that's not the end of the world.

at least it arrived!

darwinblacklist @ 2009-10-09T17:38:00

2009-10-09T22:39:01Z

lock me up, oh lock me up
cause i scorn the ones who love me and piss away my money.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-10-06T03:20:00

2009-10-06T08:27:23Z

mm... so the cops are scanning the alleys and i'm smug in my apartment. tonight was jerry's birthday. we set off a lot of large fireworks. pretty sweet.

julia (missed connection) came out for awhile tonight. on the way home she wiped out pretty hard. i watched it go down... slow tetering... slow eating shit.

awful. blood from her head. smashed glasses. sopped it up in my snot rag/bandana. made it home alright. not exactly the best way to go on a second date, but striking and significant, for sure. touching another person's blood seems kind of like a right of passage. wiping one's blood off somebody's face... i dunno.

anyways, fuck everything. my life is generally both as pleasant and miserable as ever. i don't know why i'm so maladjusted. i just can't grow up (this is why i'm maladjusted). In the words of 1994: "DUHHHHHHHH."

darwinblacklist @ 2009-10-04T15:25:00

2009-10-04T20:27:42Z

went on a date with the girl from the missed connection last night. totally awesome, all in all.
blown away by the internet.
gotta drink some coffee and head to work.
laundry tonight.
teetering. gotta get my life a little more on track. working real hard at it.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-09-26T16:09:00

2009-09-26T21:09:02Z

buy me a flute and a gun that shoots.

Weekly +/- cued by Rambo

2009-09-25T21:55:25Z

+ two band practices
+ good dinner with friends
+ posted a missed connection and got a reply from the individual (who knew it worked?)
+ got a call from robbie rutherford
+ guitar back from shop
+ sweetheart of the rodeo
+ talk with Lisa
+ talked with both my sisters
+ totally have a date for pho tomorrow
+ alexis dittberner, a dude i went to high school with, moved to chicago and we're hanging out tonight
+ cleaned the apartment and it's in pretty awesome shape
+ finished the countertop to my workbench
+ scored the easy rider lp, a pink fairies lp, and a jesus lizard vhs
+ one roommate is gone, thus alleviating a lot of tension and allowing for me to come home feeling stress free
+ talking with an old friend

- talking with an old friend and getting caught up in stupid emotional shit again
- oversleeping twice this week
- "accidentally" buying a new amp. gotta hustle for some upcoming rent money
- all of my clothes are filthy and both my jeans have holes in them, which basically means i need to get another pair for work and i hate spending money on dumb stuff for reasons like that.

this is way more extensive than yours, ramsey. i guess i need to be more concise. good week, though.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-09-22T02:25:00

2009-09-22T07:27:57Z

my ears ring when it’s quiet and I ain’t heard a thing all day

darwinblacklist @ 2009-09-17T15:50:00

2009-09-17T20:55:09Z

twenty-three.

started it right off with hank, per tradition.
whiskey ain't no good for me. at some point i launched into a tirade about the gentrification of rogers park two to unsuspecting young ladies, and was called a schmuck by an unemployed 40 year old. He proceeded to explain that a schmuck was indeed higher on the ladder than a loser, which was what he called himself.

only:

darwinblacklist @ 2009-09-14T21:12:00

2009-09-15T02:18:46Z

old pictures keep surfacing.

Andy sent me two of these the other week. Richie the other.
First two are from the Danke/Bear and the Butterfly tour during the summer of '05, I do believe.
The second is from this past spring break is my guess. Maybe winter. I don't really know. Damn near four years apart.
About the only thing that's changed is that I can (sort of) grow a beard now.

That said, I will soon be posting "Virginia Creepers: The Cautionary Tale and History of Richard Francisco and John William."
Expect something stupid.

darwinblacklist @ 2009-09-05T13:42:00

2009-09-05T18:51:33Z

"For me, drinking is Dionysian. It's wildness. There is no moderation in wildness. The purpose is not to wash down the risotto or get a pleasant buzz; it is to dance all night and show the petit bourgeoisie our bare buttocks. But Dionysianism takes a terrible toll and a man should heed that still small voice that says: if you don't wish to go to Chicago, then don't get on the this train."

darwinblacklist @ 2009-08-24T00:32:00

2009-08-24T05:33:01Z